Dear John
Dear John,
I was holding back my tears while staring at our pictures and re-reading our old conversation on a rainy evening inside my bedroom where we used to exchange sweet talks through video calls and voice calls. I was just there the whole time. I’ve decided to have a cup of coffee but I ended up not to because I'd just miss you, because drinking coffee would lead me to the moment when you said that you can’t live without coffee because aside from chocolates, coffee was also your favorite and I always remember saying that, “I wish I was your cup of coffee so you can’t resist my aroma and so you can’t live without me.” I paused for a moment, still recalling the times we had and the laughter we used to share. I can still remember how we used to have long drives around the city while listening to your favorite OPM and 90s playlist, and how you used to dance and sing to it while I was there at the front seat watching how happy and perfect that moment was, as I was also wishing it will never come to an end. You were a hot-headed person, you get irritated easily, but you love bullying people especially “me”, but I always say that as long as you’re happy with it, I promise not to argue with your sometimes offensive jokes and punchlines. You also keep on telling me about a photo you’re reserving for my birthday that you’ll use for your greeting which you keep on your gallery, and it was for the purpose of blackmailing me. Well, forget about it. You didn’t even want to see it. I can still remember how you used to tease me when I have makeup on but funny how you can still call me “beautiful” when I’m barefaced and I have nothing but blemishes and pale skin. You used to kill me with your sense of humor and sarcasm! I will never forget the days where you will drive for about 2 hours from New York to New Jersey so we can see each other again despite of the fact that you still have to drive another 2 hours and wake up early because you have to go to work. Days went by, time is passing by way too fast, and I’ve never thought that it was the last night that we’ll be together. We spent the whole day with the good company and it was a date-to-remember. I remember everything, I can still remember every inch, every detail of the moments we spent together and how much you loved and cared for me. It was unforgettable and worth keeping. In just a short span of time, you made me happy like no man could ever do. The feeling was extraordinary; it was like I’ve known you for a long time. I guess that’s all I can do now…. REMEMBER, REMEMBER, REMEMBER. Yes, I’ve lost a friend but I found you and I never regret having you in my life. You were there for me when I needed someone the most, in the worst days of my life and when I was surrounded with toxic people, there you were, you were with me and you never left my side. You didn’t even make me feel that I’m alone. You were more than enough for me. I thought you will never love someone who’s broken and immature. Thank you for allowing me to feel again the love I’ve lost for a long time. Thank you for making me happy even just for a while, thank you for teaching me to be strong. Above all, my heart beat again and learned how to love for a second time. Thank you for staying with me back then even if you had every reason to leave. You'll never really know how happy that you've made me and how much I love you so.
